Tuesday, May 19, 2009

my brother visits a weed co-op

Medicinal marijuana is cultivated and distributed to Canabis Clubs in California, and my brother got to visit his Shangri-La.


Sunday, May 17, 2009

oh lord, the fuck whales were at the club again

That's what I call bitches that are way too chunky to wear club clothes that are too small for their ever expanding girth, but they still wear them to try and pull a man into their rolls hoping they'll get some ding dong. Look at this one.
(click on photos for better views)




Saturday, May 16, 2009

Clubs = I no Likey

I went out with the wife to some nasty little local 'club' and drama ensued. A bunch of cholo fuckers decided they wanted to boss up and act hard. I was hoping to see somebody get seriously injured, but it didn't happen. Maybe beat with a bat or shot, but no. Too bad. They were all in the middle of the street and all I could imagine was somebody pulling a "Grand Theft Auto" move and driving through them like bowling pins. I giggle inside when I think about it. I fucking hate going to clubs.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

My buddy is an asshole

Apparently he reads the local news and sees this, then sends me an e-mail asking if it's me. What the fuck??? Then I saw the pic and it kinda weirded me out.

News story below:

PHOENIX -- Surveillance cameras captured a bank robber in the act Sunday afternoon, and Scottsdale police hope someone will recognize the man, authorities said.
The man walked up to the window at the Bank of America inside the Fry's on Thomas Road and passed the teller a note saying he had a gun and demanding cash, police said.
After receiving the cash, he fled in a small, white passenger car that had at least one other occupant, police said.
Nobody saw a gun, and there were no injuries reported, police said.

For the record. That is not me. I do not rob banks, and I definitely don't own any Rocawear clothing. And why would I post this? This is proof that everybody in the world has a doppleganger. Fuckin' crazy.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

The plan for the buffet

This is a hakapik. It is the tool used for clubbing seals and dragging the carcass to a processing point during seal hunting season in Canada. The blunt end is slammed into a seals head, which in theory, will instantly kill the animal. Pretty vicious, I know. I am buying one.

When I buy it, I am taking it to a local buffet with me. These are your buffets in the sense of Hometown buffet or Golden Corral. I am taking it because of the "buffet killers". These are the 400 lb walruses that hover around the buffet and inhale everything before I get a chance to eat.
In defense of my own appetite, I will use it to club these tubby fucks, and then drag them away from the sneeze guards. And I will be a hero.

Awesomeness in animal form