Monday, June 20, 2011

Been a long time, but guess what I've learned in College.

I have been going to school. A lot of school. The one thing I know I have learned is that our future in this country is............. FUCKED! I have heard stupidity come from the mouths of people once only believed to be possible in a Zucker Brothers movie. These mouth breathers are allowed to go to college, and I believe it is only to generate revenue for the college system, because there is no possible way that these people are going to be productive members of society. Here are a few of the gems that I have heard come from the noise holes of these geniuses. I have given the basic setting in parenthesis before the actual idiocy.

1. (In English class, we were told to read our descriptive essay in front of class. The essay was to be about a chance encounter with a famous person.)
"So, I wrote about my meeting with Megan Fox. So, I drive up to her place, and I'm like 'hey', and she's like 'yeah'. Then we leave in my limo. So, she's like 'what's up', and I'm like 'nothing'. So we party, and go home. I'm like 'later', and she's like 'yup'." The End.

2. (Same day, in English class, same situation)
"I wroted about Vicente Fernandez. He's a guy that sings romantical songs. So, I walk with him to the woods, and we hold hands, and then I lean on him and I smell him. Then I buy some perfume that smells like him." The End.

3. (English Class, we are writing contrast and comparison of music genres. This was written about the political view of a song.)
"Oh yeah, I'm not done with my paragraph, but I started it. Here's my first sentence." - The political view of the song 1st of tha Month by Bone Thugs N Harmony is about getting paid on the first of the month.

4. (In math class, after being shown multiple times how to work a basic formula)
"Well, I didn't do it like that and I got it right, so why do I even need to do it like that." The teacher responds "Even a broken clock is right twice a day, that doesn't mean it works."

5. (In history class, there is no basis for anything this guy said, so just think of any situation. He just loved to say............... whatever the fuck he was saying.")
a. "Khadafi want to make gold for Libya that looks like America"
b. "So that bunker for the president at the hotel is like Stargate"
C. "If you made a company work for America, you'll be assassins, cuz that's like Obama"
d. "Who's that Oriental news lady? Katie Couric? She was stationed with her Japanese grandfather in England"
e. "Did u see D-day? it was Omaha. Or some state, or country, like Omaha was. You know?"
f. "So you heard Osama has pictures, they're at 9-11, you know, and people see."