Monday, September 19, 2011

Bring Back the Food Stamp

I don't like EBT cards. Those are the little fake credit cards that took the place of the classic food stamp.

With a food stamp, I could buy them off of a junkie for $o.50 on the dollar and purchase some quality steaks and other meats. I would be able to feed my family some quality stuff, and the junkie could go out and kill himself with whatever drugs he could purchase with the money I gave him. This in turn would supply money to the junkies dealer, who could use his ill gotten gains to purchase more drugs from suppliers. His suppliers could then purchase high end luxury items and live in massive homes in the hills. What I am saying is that food stamps were good for the total economy.

My second reason I miss the food stamp is ridiculous. I wish I could have about $500 in food stamps so that I could make it rain at the club with them. I imagine snotty bitches saying, "that's not real money", to which I would respond, "you tell that to the cashier at the supermarket you uppity bitch!".

I guess it would also be fun to tip strippers with food stamps as well.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Penis!

Penis, penis, penis

you're dangly like clay

Penis, penis, penis

With my penis I will play.


(sung to the Draedle song)

Really Mom?

It's been a little over a year since my mother's husband died. At that time, my siblings and myself were her saving grace, her world, her support structure, and her safety net. Oh, how she loved us at that time. But my brother and I knew that it would most likely be short lived. We predicted exactly what would happen in time. She stopped calling any of us kids, stopped visiting my younger brothers and sister.

Why?

Because there is a new man in her life. Of course. A chunky version of her deceased husband. WTF!?!?!? Suddenly, he is all encompassing to her.

My youngest sister is knocked up, so mom was supposed to visit her and take her shopping for baby stuff. Didn't happen. She went on vacation to Disneyland with the new guy instead.

In 10 years, my mother hasn't visited me, because I live out of state, but I constantly here about how she has never been able to spend time with her grandkids. The last time my kids visited her, she put on the TV at her house and didn't talk to them, since she was too busy entertaining her now dead husbands family.

I wonder if the new dude is kicking down money for her, because I know that all of us kids did when her husband died.

Fuck it, I'm irritated. I'll stop before I start filling up more server space with rants.