Friday, September 7, 2012

Working from home

I wish I could work from home. It would save me gas for my car and have time for my family. And it would afford me the opportunity to do weird shit while talking with customers without the threat of being fired.

I could cut oranges with a samurai sword.

On break I could have sex.

I could urinate in a 2 liter bottle so that I wouldn't need to take bathroom breaks.

Porn or ninja movies could play in the background (on low volume, of course).

I could make a list of people to kill when the zombie apocalypse arrives.

I could sit around in a leather g-string while covered in peanut butter.

I could make Jell-O molds while naked, but wearing socks.

Manscape my testes, 'nuff said.

I could play with my nipples.

The opportunities that would be available would be endless. And all of these people that work from home are probably squandering the opportunity that has been afforded them.

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